Leave the kids alone – The Hindu

Although the Tamil Nadu government had claimed to be rid of the practice of female foeticide and infanticide, distancing itself from the reputation it had garnered in the 1980s as the hub of infanticide, reality was far from it. More such instances were reported in Vellore  and Thirupattur up until this year. 

The mother of this four-day-old baby, T. Chitra, who was completely unaware of this, not only lost her, but also her husband, whose income helped support the family. I spoke to her, two days after the incident for a report in The Hindu, and realised that she believed she had deserved it. “It’s all my fault. We already had three girls, all under the age of 7. I should’ve just known that I was cursed and not have tried for a boy the fourth time. Now, everything that can go wrong has gone wrong,” she said. 

Residents of cities who often dismiss such incidents as archaic, viewing them merely as statistics or rare news articles, may benefit from reading Ashna Bhutani’s report this week about how sex determination has gone online. “Behind closed doors, lakhs of women of child-bearing ages, spend hours on the internet trying to gauge the sex of their child. One such woman who is 18 weeks pregnant comments on a video with a woman talking about ‘signs’ of a male foetus, all of which doctors say are myths. 

Similar rackets of prenatal sex determination were unearthed in Bengaluru and Mysuru in 2023 where a nurse at a private hospital confessed to aborting several foetuses upon finding out the sex of the child and flinging the remains into the Cauvery to avoid traces. 

Sex determination is just as intrinsic to India as marriage. Sons are preferred in this country as they are seen to have higher cultural and economic value, even in cities “Inheritance and land rights are passed down through male heirs, ageing parents rely on male support in the absence of national security plans, and married daughters are not allowed to look after their birth family by marital family in-laws and husbands. On the other hand, women requiring dowries in marriage make daughters to be perceived as an economic burden by the family,” says this paper published in 2023 in the United States’ National Library of Medicine. 

What is the way forward? Despite such gloomy statistics about India’s missing girls, there exist rare but definite glimmers of hope. In Tamil Nadu, the Health department’s Pregnancy and Infant Cohort Monitoring and Evaluation system has made tracking of pregnant women possible. Does it account for several children being abandoned at birth? Frankly, no. 

Special teams have been formed by the police to penalise entities including private hospitals who commit illegal and punishable offences under the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act, 1994. Ashna’s article also speaks of the change in hearts of the people who occasionally leave comments like “Whatever the gender is, stay blessed with a healthy baby,” while also throwing light on the fact that it is illegal.  

Toolkit 

Although India is seeing a significant rise in cancer detection among women between the ages 25 and 40, not many are aware of fertility preservation. Through this exercise, women who have been diagnosed with cancer, can choose to conserve their ovarian reserve before chemotherapy begins. This article by Dr. Priya Selvaraj, Director, GG Hospital, Fertility Research and Women’s Specialty Centre, Chennai, outlines the several ways through which women could choose to have children post their treatment, especially because the aim today is not just survival, but also a better quality of life after being declared cancer-free. 

Wordsworth  

Avalkoppam: Translating to ‘With Her’ in Malayalam, Avalkoppam was coined in 2017 by the Women In Cinema Collective, a platform that was formed after a woman actor was allegedly abducted and sexually assaulted in a moving car on the night of February 17, 2017 in Kochi. The allegations pointed to the involvement of actor Dileep, a prominent Malayalam cinema star, who allegedly nursed a grudge towards the victim over her reported involvement in the break-up of his previous matrimonial relationship. After a prolonged trial that went on for almost eight years, a trial court in Kerala acquitted Dileep in the case. This caused widespread public backlash, while also eliciting support for the Dileep. In a social media post after the judgement that said ‘Avalkoppam. 3215 days of waiting for justice‘, the WCC stated that “we stand by her and every survivor who is watching in solidarity”. 

Ouch! 

“Marriage has become a joke for girls these days. They just want a man’s money and no responsibilities.”

Venom, social media user with 58,000 followers 

People we met 

Hanapabhi and Saidambi Niak are weavers from the Siddi community, whose origins lie in East Africa and subsequently, Sind in Pakistan. They weave vivid kawandi or quilts made from cloth scraps using appliqué. This practice, which began as a desperate means to keep warm during winter, is now finding prominent places in art galleries. No two quilts are ever alike and all of them are stitched by hand. 

Hanapabhi says that most quilts are made for daily use. However, the most ornate ones are made ahead of a daughter’s wedding. “The more distinct the pattern is, the more accepted the daughter is in the household. Those are the ones I have most enjoyed making,” she says. Are they excited to see their collection on display at art galleries across the world? “Not really. We get a little money now, but nothing has changed back in our villages. In case a mother does not stitch a quilt for her daughter during the wedding, the daughter must make do with nothing except her own saree. Society is harsh to her, just as it is for us.” 

Published – December 14, 2025 11:38 am IST