The power of saying ‘no’

Growing up, many of us did not get the privilege of saying “no”. We grew up in houses where obedience means everything. In our households, a simple “no” is interpreted as rebellion, arrogance, or even the influence of “bad company”. Just to avoid all the drama that follows that one “no”, we get used to saying “yes”. And slowly, we turn into people who prioritise others’ comfort over our own boundaries.

What does that lead to? A feeling of losing our own self, our autonomy. The lingering feeling of constraints around our throat. Moments filled with wanting to disagree with someone but unable to reject their plea. Moments that feel like being in a battlefield. Only to end up accepting their request. Do we gain anything from all that? Just the sense of losing ourselves gets stronger with every undesirable “yes” that leaves our mouth. What’s left is a feeling of resentment towards ourselves.

The only way out of this cycle is learning to say “no”. A firm and strong “no”. It might not feel like an easy task. But every habit has to start from somewhere. The first “no” may feel heavy on the tongue. It might even be painful. But when we get used to saying it, it will flow right out as a guilt-free “no”. Over time, that “no” can join us together piece by piece. It moulds one into a person who is the owner of her self. It will liberate us. And when we feel liberated, we can see all the other possibilities that life holds for us much more clearly.

Ultimately, a pathway to finding our own self is in learning to say that simple “no”.

Sometimes, the simplest word carries the greatest power. And “No” is one of them.

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